LARRY COMES HOME

Did you ever have a friend you never met? Larry is that kind of guy. I don’t know Larry, never even met him but I have a feeling we would be good friends. Last night I was reading a very profound letter from Larry to one of his granddaughters, Sammie. Sammie is arguably Larry’s favorite granddaughter, but let’s keep that between us, the others wouldn’t be too happy if they knew I knew. I can understand why Larry feels the way he does, Sammie is pretty special to me too.

Last year Larry was on life support, today he supports life. Now be honest, everyone says they support life, their own life for sure, but when it comes to other lives, well maybe we can have a “senior moment” once in a while and forget about all the lives lost through “choice”. But, did you ever wonder whose choice they are talking about?

Larry had spent three days in the ICU at a local hospital. There is nothing like a three day retreat in an ICU to focus your senses on those things in your life that are really important. Sometimes it takes a moment like this, an out of the ordinary event to finally bring you home. After life support, what else is there? Well, plenty if you have Larry’s inner strength and sense of purpose. Larry beat the odds in the ICU; I guess God wasn’t done with him yet. The irony in all of this - Larry had gone from life support to supporting life; not a bad way to thank the Lord for saving your life.

I’m not sure it if was an epiphany or just a passing thought but Larry woke up feeling just like Howard Beale in the movie “Network News” exclaiming “I’m mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more!” Right then and there Larry decided to join the political process. Larry suddendly realized that all life was precious. Being an old Navy hand Larry took this thought to be his marching orders. Grabbing a pen from one of his nurses Larry decided to make his voice heard and he wrote like he never wrote before.

Never one to say much (Richard Nixon would have called him one of the silent majority) Larry used just one 3X5 card to write what had to be said. His thoughts were pointed, and he got right to the heart of the matter. Like any good grandparent Larry wanted to teach his granddaughter the value of life and why character matters. Larry was writing to his granddaughter Sammie but his thoughts should be a lesson to us all. Larry decided it was time to stand for something, because if you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything. Larry is a husband, father, and grandfather, he has the gift of sight that comes with age; he's seen it all. He’s seen a granddaughter’s sonogram, he knows that today is the father of tomorrow and you have to make your choices count for the future. To borrow a phrase from President Obama (with a little poetic license) “That’s the kind of choice you can believe in”.

We live in a free country with unlimited choices but do we really know how to make the right choices? Life is dear, and everyone should have the opportunity to live life to the fullest but if you make a bad choice, use poor judgment, buy a house you can’t afford, don’t save for the future, or find yourself pregnant some politician will have a solution. They want to buy your vote with promises they can’t keep. Remember, there is no free lunch. What ever happened to personal responsibility?

Like Howard Beale Larry wants to spread his message and he is looking for volunteers. If you want to join Larry in his mission to teach the value of life and strength of character and make a difference in our world, stand up for what you believe and repeat after me - "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!" Better still why not drop Larry a line. He would love to hear from you and I bet he will become your friend too.

Larry Brethauer
43 Boondock Road
Lorida, FL 33857

Welcome home my friend. I hope I get to meet you some day.

STRAY SHOPPIING CARTS

What a day! What started as a cerebral day commemorating Galileo’s 400th birthday, complete with cake, quickly devolved into trash talk complete with a stunning analysis of the Niagara Falls River Gorge vandalism super site. Wait, more on that later.

We figured Rodney Dangerfield probably had Galileo in mind when he famously said, “I don’t get no respect”. The poor guy had made it through the inquisition, only to have his mistress marry his best friend, and his daughters fled to safety in a nearby convent. Not to let Galileo’s memory escape us and his birthday to pass unrecognized we decided a celebration in his honor would be appropriate. We even exchanged gifts. It is the middle of winter in Maine and not much happens at Well Sweep Farm this time of year so we have to be a little inventive.

When it came time to open my present, given to me by my daughter-in-law, all were thrilled to see I had been the recipient of the much sought after definitive guide THE STRAY SHOPPING CARTS OF EASTERN NORTH AMERICA.
My daughter-in-law knows me all too well and she rightly guessed I would want to curl up by the fire and immerse myself in this esoteric study of stray shopping carts, patiently waiting for the snow to clear so I could drag my poor wife (she’s a saint) along to scout out some of the many locations highlighted in the field guide.

The authors claim that what many people may simply see as a sign of urban blight is actually an indicator of consumer society gone too far. This seminal book contains a complete classification system with numerous photographs to aid in identification. This handsome book will rest right next to my dog-eared Field Guide to North American Birds, ready for my next outing.

One can only hope there is money in the freshly minted stimulus plan earmarked for The Niagara Gorge clean up project. You will have to buy your own copy to fully appreciate the beauty of this; it’s available on Amazon, like everything else in the world.

With all the empty houses dotting the land as a result of foreclosures it doesn’t seem as if volunteers for Habitat for Humanity would be much in demand so if I can convince my wife to accompany me we may do our part by joining in the Niagara project. Based on the reception I received from my wife when I suggested this field trip I may have to wait for a second round of financing from Congress if they consider the plight of stray plastic bags, discarded tires, and stray traffic cones. I’m a little disappointed as I always wanted to see Niagara Falls.

Tom Daschle's Jiffy Lube endorsement

Dear Tom:

It's no wonder you needed a car and driver. If you "invested" in a new car we might not need the auto bailout. You should have plenty of time on your hands to shop for a new car now that you have withdrawn your name from consideration.

Memo to Tom Daschle - Its called a form 1040

Once again it looks like ethics has taken a backseat to the "old boy network", or maybe Tom just didn't get the President's ethics memo.

Date Rape Italian Style

I think I just lost my virginity to a slick Italian. Let's reconstruct this; US Taxpayers "lend" Chrysler $7 Billion and three weeks later Fiat, that slick Italian Don Juan, shows up at my window singing a love aria strait from Puccini and the next thing I know Mr. F has a 35% share of my company. I say my company because it was my $7 Billion in the first place.

If once is not enough for this lothario now I learn Mr. F is ready for more with an option to gain further control, up to 55%, if he is in the mood. This no-cash deal gives him access to my plants, my employees, my money, so he can bring our little bambino love child to life in the US.

So ask yourself, if I hadn't lent the money to Chrysler would Mr. F still have come a courting? Probably, he wanted in and I let my guard down and made it too easy for him. So much for government mandated sex education.

Tortured Minds

Let me see if I’ve got this right. The same people who brought us partial-birth abortion, with its mind chilling devastation, now believe sleep deprivation, isolation, and exposure to cold are considered torture. Anyone who has nursed a child understands sleep deprivation, my friend Dave loves ice fishing – that’s exposure to cold, and I recall my father sending me to my room to “reflect” on the spanking I was about to receive – that’s isolation. Only a tortured mind could equate these simple acts with the horror The Falling Man experienced when he finally realized there was no exit, other than jumping from the window of the North Tower at 9:41 on September 11, 2001. Mr. President, reflect on this before you jump to a tortured conclusion.

KISS Principle 101

Memo to Mr. Geithner and Mr. Summers:

You don’t need a PhD in Economics to understand the KISS principle. Put in place a Keep It Simple Stupid rule – the next banker or Wall Street executive to receive a taxpayer funded bailout must come to Washington, in person, to pick up the check. Let him arrive among the glare of reporters and make sure he flies coach, sitting in the middle seat. Let him know what it is like to be an average Joe instead of living in the rarified atmosphere of $1400 wastepaper baskets! Mr. Thain might still have his job today if he had flown coach.

What's up with this?

Senate panel confirms Geithner.

Have the Senate Republicans missed a golden opportunity? Maybe so. Rather than complain about Mr. Geithner's "relatively minor" transgression the Senate Republicans should have used this opportunity to discuss the convoluted tax code facing all American taxpayers. This is not a Timothy Geithner problem, nor a TurboTax issue as Geithner claimed. Flat out (pardon the Freudian slip) the real issue is the complicated nature of our tax reporting system. Why in the world do we need to create a system so complicated only an entire sub-culture of pocket protector armed accountants can make heads or tails of the returns?